I actually need this!!!

(Source: s4dg0th)

fangirl221b:

raaynee:

breakcorechoirboy:

I am borderline crying at how sassy this person is

ROLL BACK THE ATTITUDE

REASONABLY-PRICED SARCASM

fangirl221b:

raaynee:

breakcorechoirboy:

I am borderline crying at how sassy this person is

ROLL BACK THE ATTITUDE

REASONABLY-PRICED SARCASM

(Source: shitshilarious)

antoinettemalificus:

jetblueivy:

drive thru employees
image
definitely
image
do not
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get paid
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enough
image
for
image
this
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shit
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they are sick of your nonsense
image

I lost my fucking shit at the fish and scared the shit out of my cat!! I am crying!! 

pmon3y69:

drdawg:

my friend Pete literally makes me cry with his snap stories

this is me, i am pete, love me 

rainbowcranes:

Growing up, my dad had a rule. “You can’t get a tattoo. If you do, I will make you get it removed. Unless, that is, you join the army and can shoot a seagull in the eye from a mile away, or you have a near-death experience.”
On July 12, 2011, I rode my bicycle to the camp I worked at. On my way home, I rode down a hill, and stopped at the bottom. I looked both ways, and there was no car coming. I started to turn left when I got hit by a car going ~55 miles per hour. I completely shattered the windshield, and when the driver stopped, I was ejected back onto the road. The doctors in the emergency room were absolutely perplexed when I arrived, because they all agreed that I should have died, and they were amazed to release me 4 and a half hours later with only 16 stitches, a concussion, and a chipped tooth. During my recovery, I was angry and confused. A couple if days after my accident, I received cards from my eight year old campers. One of them drew a giant paper crane, and said, “if you fold a thousand paper cranes, you’ll get better”. 
Not being able to read, ride a bicycle, or put stress on my body, I cut up an old sudoku puzzle, went on YouTube, and learned how to make a paper crane. By the end of the day, I had a laundry basket full of black and white paper cranes. I kept making paper cranes, even after I made a thousand, and I ran into a dilemma. What do you do with paper cranes once you’ve made them? A girl in my class had committed suicide the same day I had my accident, and I brought a purple crane to her wake. Her family could not have been happier the moment I presented them with this crane. Something clicked in my head right there. I started giving them to people and hiding them in random places for people to find. I started making art with them, and they became a major part of who I was. 
This tattoo is symbolic of my accident, and could not represent me any better.

rainbowcranes:

Growing up, my dad had a rule. “You can’t get a tattoo. If you do, I will make you get it removed. Unless, that is, you join the army and can shoot a seagull in the eye from a mile away, or you have a near-death experience.”

On July 12, 2011, I rode my bicycle to the camp I worked at. On my way home, I rode down a hill, and stopped at the bottom. I looked both ways, and there was no car coming. I started to turn left when I got hit by a car going ~55 miles per hour. I completely shattered the windshield, and when the driver stopped, I was ejected back onto the road. The doctors in the emergency room were absolutely perplexed when I arrived, because they all agreed that I should have died, and they were amazed to release me 4 and a half hours later with only 16 stitches, a concussion, and a chipped tooth. During my recovery, I was angry and confused. A couple if days after my accident, I received cards from my eight year old campers. One of them drew a giant paper crane, and said, “if you fold a thousand paper cranes, you’ll get better”. 

Not being able to read, ride a bicycle, or put stress on my body, I cut up an old sudoku puzzle, went on YouTube, and learned how to make a paper crane. By the end of the day, I had a laundry basket full of black and white paper cranes. 
I kept making paper cranes, even after I made a thousand, and I ran into a dilemma. What do you do with paper cranes once you’ve made them? A girl in my class had committed suicide the same day I had my accident, and I brought a purple crane to her wake. Her family could not have been happier the moment I presented them with this crane. Something clicked in my head right there. I started giving them to people and hiding them in random places for people to find. I started making art with them, and they became a major part of who I was. 

This tattoo is symbolic of my accident, and could not represent me any better.

You want to say Hi to the cute girl on the subway. How will she react? Fortunately, I can tell you with some certainty, because she’s already sending messages to you. Looking out the window, reading a book, working on a computer, arms folded across chest, body away from you = do not disturb. So, y’know, don’t disturb her. Really. Even to say that you like her hair, shoes, or book. A compliment is not always a reason for women to smile and say thank you. You are a threat, remember? You are Schrödinger’s Rapist. Don’t assume that whatever you have to say will win her over with charm or flattery. Believe what she’s signaling, and back off.

If you speak, and she responds in a monosyllabic way without looking at you, she’s saying, “I don’t want to be rude, but please leave me alone.” You don’t know why. It could be “Please leave me alone because I am trying to memorize Beowulf.” It could be “Please leave me alone because you are a scary, scary man with breath like a water buffalo.” It could be “Please leave me alone because I am planning my assassination of a major geopolitical figure and I will have to kill you if you are able to recognize me and blow my cover.”

On the other hand, if she is turned towards you, making eye contact, and she responds in a friendly and talkative manner when you speak to her, you are getting a green light. You can continue the conversation until you start getting signals to back off.

The fourth point: If you fail to respect what women say, you label yourself a problem.

There’s a man with whom I went out on a single date—afternoon coffee, for one hour by the clock—on July 25th. In the two days after the date, he sent me about fifteen e-mails, scolding me for non-responsiveness. I e-mailed him back, saying, “Look, this is a disproportionate response to a single date. You are making me uncomfortable. Do not contact me again.” It is now October 7th. Does he still e-mail?

Yeah. He does. About every two weeks.

This man scores higher on the threat level scale than Man with the Cockroach Tattoos. (Who, after all, is guilty of nothing more than terrifying bad taste.) You see, Mr. E-mail has made it clear that he ignores what I say when he wants something from me. Now, I don’t know if he is an actual rapist, and I sincerely hope he’s not. But he is certainly Schrödinger’s Rapist, and this particular Schrödinger’s Rapist has a probability ratio greater than one in sixty. Because a man who ignores a woman’s NO in a non-sexual setting is more likely to ignore NO in a sexual setting, as well.

So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone. If you pursue a conversation when she’s tried to cut it off, you send a message. It is that your desire to speak trumps her right to be left alone. And each of those messages indicates that you believe your desires are a legitimate reason to override her rights.

For women, who are watching you very closely to determine how much of a threat you are, this is an important piece of data.

Anonymous asked: I hope you had a reason to smile today!

there is always a reason to smile, even on the worst days :)

vocaroo:

and-exhaleee:

vocaroo:

me pulling a knife on my grandma

IS SHE WEARING A LIFE ALERT

yes and she’s gonna need it

vocaroo:

and-exhaleee:

vocaroo:

me pulling a knife on my grandma

IS SHE WEARING A LIFE ALERT

yes and she’s gonna need it

thefuuuucomics:

walmart-stripper:

microraptoria:

itstonybetch:

adoredelano

Source. This is a real thing. It’s happening.

WHAT THE FUCK YOU GUYS THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT DISCOVERY OF THE CENTURY

w


i wanna know you better than the back of my hand,  and what keeps you up at 2am.
i wanna know what song has been stuck in your head, and how you’d look in my bed.
i wanna know what words are on the tip of your tongue, and hear about your dreams, even when you have none.
i wanna know what brings tears to your eyes, and what your face would look like if i kissed the inside of your thighs.
i wanna know how you like your coffee in the morning, and how cute you look when you’re snoring.
i wanna know you better.
k.g.

i wanna know you better than the back of my hand,  and what keeps you up at 2am.

i wanna know what song has been stuck in your head, and how you’d look in my bed.

i wanna know what words are on the tip of your tongue, and hear about your dreams, even when you have none.

i wanna know what brings tears to your eyes, and what your face would look like if i kissed the inside of your thighs.

i wanna know how you like your coffee in the morning, and how cute you look when you’re snoring.

i wanna know you better.

k.g.

(Source: ka-hoo-na)

dontbedead:

when i find myself in times of trouble
ellen degeneres comes to me

dontbedead:

when i find myself in times of trouble

ellen degeneres comes to me

(Source: alsocool)

(Source: club-verraco)

gwydtheunusual:

miritamoku:

cactus-princess:

too—weird-to-live:

exploringplaces:

zafojones:

Circus Tree: Six individual sycamore trees were shaped, bent, and braided to form this.

Wauwwww

how the hell do you bend and braid a tree


nature posts here ✿

Actually pretty easy. Trees don’t reject tissue from other trees in the same family. You bend the tree to another tree when it is a sapling, scrape off the bark on both trees where they touch, add some damp sphagnum moss around them to keep everything slightly moist and bind them together. Then wait a few years- The trees will have grown together. You can use a similar technique to graft a lemon branch or a lime branch or even both- onto an orange tree and have one tree that has all three fruits.Frankentrees.

gwydtheunusual:

miritamoku:

cactus-princess:

too—weird-to-live:

exploringplaces:

zafojones:

Circus Tree: Six individual sycamore trees were shaped, bent, and braided to form this.

Wauwwww

how the hell do you bend and braid a tree

nature posts here ✿

Actually pretty easy. Trees don’t reject tissue from other trees in the same family. You bend the tree to another tree when it is a sapling, scrape off the bark on both trees where they touch, add some damp sphagnum moss around them to keep everything slightly moist and bind them together. 
Then wait a few years- The trees will have grown together. 

You can use a similar technique to graft a lemon branch or a lime branch or even both- onto an orange tree and have one tree that has all three fruits.

Frankentrees.